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"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
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"A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground."
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"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage."
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"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed -- and hence clamorous to be led to safety -- by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."
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"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too."
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"Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an inquest."
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"The more a man dreams, the less he believes."
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"It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for any public office."
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"It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."
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"...the basic delusion that men may be governed and yet be free."
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