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"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
"A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground."
"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage."
"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed -- and hence clamorous to be led to safety -- by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."
"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too."
"Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an inquest."
"The more a man dreams, the less he believes."
"It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for any public office."
"It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."
"...the basic delusion that men may be governed and yet be free."
